It's Not Easy Being Green

Dear Arthur:

You caught my attention recently when you answered the dog who ate the book HAMLET.  I paid attention because I am in show business myself.

You may know me; my name is Kermit.  I am rich, famous, and married to a hot pig.  I have lots of money.

But even I have problems.

Mine is that I get no respect.

You see, it’s not easy being green.  No one takes you seriously, even if you’re the Hulk.  People laugh at me.  I’ve never been nominated for an Oscar award.  No one has ever  asked me to play Hamlet or Superman.

What should I do?

Kermit

Dear Kermit,

Come closer.

I’d like to rip off your button eyes and pull out your stuffing, you poor excuse for an amphibian.

Closer…aaahhhhh…thank you.

Sincerely,

Arthur TheBad Airedale